Sydney Morning Herald

Quick On The Uptake

Think speed dating and get visions of overly made-up women talking anxiously at sleazy, portly men – with dodgy lighting, bad food, too many drinks and the smell of desperation. At least, that’s what I thought.

Speed dating was launched in Sydney four years ago and there are now countless weekly events at pubs, clubs and restaurants. There’s speed dating for over-40’s, salsa fans, creative types, wine lovers, the “vertically enhanced” (this Wednesday’s event has a waiting list almost as tall as the men) and more.

In the name of journalistic research, it was something Flirt had to cover, At Tasting Dating – 12 gourmet courses, matched with wine and dates, for $129 – I figured that if the men were boring, I could bury myself in the pate and pinot. Still, stabbing my eyeball with a fork was more appealing than enduring conversation with 12 strangers, then rating them.

I needn’t have worried: they were all charming, chatty, extraordinarily nive – and in some cases, very good-looking. Top reason proffered for trying this dating method was: “All my mates are married and don’t set me up with anyone.” A close second was: “I hate picking up in bars.” Two had friends who’d met girlfriends through speed dating; one was from out of town and hoping to make friends.

Unlike the women, most had come alone. “You don’t want to be dating the same chick as your mate,” one said, as the others nodded sagely.

The women were set up at numbered tables with the men rotating to the ringing of a “time’s up” bell, everyone with “scorecards” with spots for notes on each suitor. At the end of the “date”, each [erson was to rate the other with a Y or N. (Most participants score at least one “mutual match”,) Amiable Eat City waiters topped flasses and brought delicious meals, and Fast Impressions host Anna Saunders supervised.

Date one was Daniel, giving speed dating a second try after a bad experience with another organization three years ago. “I rang up to enquire about speed dating and they told me to come along to an event that night for a free trial.” The brave shift worker explained. “When I got there they were all 50-60 year-old women! I was 24! I went on one date, but she had older kids and we were in different head spaces.”

The ice broke, the night warmed and the boys came and went: an American doctor who had traveled the outback and the world; a policeman who loved the outdoors; a care worker who spent weekends watching live bands; a charming landscaper who ran his own busy business, a shy smart country boy, a confident serial speed dater from Vaucluse; a chatty IT guy; a sweet boy who was interested in the paranormall a South African whom almost all the girls ticked.

Ella tried speed dating four years ago. “I had been single for ages and I thought I’d give it a go,” the attractive 27 year-old said. “I went by myself and I was freaking out! But after one drink I was fine. Everyone there is just as nervous as you are.” She has been going ever sinve. “One of the best things is that you don’t have to exchange numbers so you don’t have the refection, just an email later that shows your success rates.”

“There hasn’t been anyone I’ve had that X-factor with, no one who knocked my socks off. None of my friends are in any serious relationships with speed daters either, but it’s not just about that. I get really high energy levels doing it – it’s such a buzz. And it helps you be confident when you’re out in public doing it for real.”

It’s an odd concept: meeting a revolving lot of strangers whose first question is invariably: “Is this your first time?” There is a job interview quality to it. But, as one date said: “There are plenty of worse ways to spend three hours.” And it was refreshing to meet so many normal singles.

Since Ella attended Tasting Dating with her friend Cathy, they have each been on a date apiece. “The funny thins is, we went out for drinks later and met some American guys who we’re going out with. It must have put us in the right frame of mind!”