The Dating Survival Guide

Romance on the run-The Need For Speed

Hey sugar — come and sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up."

Ah, the sleazy pick-up line — it's part of every night out at the average urban bar. Add in the inevitable grope as you squeeze through the crowd and that creepy freak hailing you from across the room and it's no wonder so many women are asking why meeting nice, normal blokes is so hard..

For the past two-and-a-half years, men and women across the try have been piling aboard the speed dating train in the hope of buying a one-way ticket to safe and comfortable dating territory. The concept, invented by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in California in 1999, created a boom in speed dating agencies across Australia and New Zealand, the top agencies now holding in excess of 50 events per month.

What is it?
Basically, it's when equal numbers of men and women are invited to a bar and while each woman takes a station (at as table, lounge or booth) the men rotate around the room every six to eight minutes until each person has had a 'speed date' with every member of the opposite sex.

At the end, each person fills out a form stating who they would like to see again. If a man and a woman indicate each other, a 'match'is made.

Their details are then e-mailed to each other by the dating agency and they can make contact for a date-be it a friendly coffee or an intimate dinner.

This means that you no longer have to go to crowded, noisy bars to make eye contact with someone (anyone!), you don't (necessarily) end Sting blind drunk in the process, you know that all the men you are actually seeking a relationship and not just a quick shag, and won't have to cop repulsive pick-up lines. Probably.

Popping my speed dating cherry

For my first speed dating experience, I decided to be brave, be a woman, and go it alone. This has its ups and downs — the up is that quite a few people go alone, you bond better with them (especially the women) and you are less intimidating to approach.

On the downside you are more nervous, and therefore likely to drink more — not that there's anything wrong with a little Dutch courage!

So, after spending hours deciding what to wear — I settled on something a bit saucy, but not too obvious — I threw myself at the mercy of speed dating agency Blink Dating, trying my best to look cool, calm and friendly.

The mingling bit at the beginning I found a bit forced — everyone was nervous and throwing wine into their fully glossed lips in an attempt to appear relaxed.
Once you get into the actual dating section, backside firmly planted on a sofa and glass of Sauv B in hand, you can get into the serious business of dissecting the motley crew of fellas.

As it turned out they weren't a bad bunch. Calling them 'wildly attractive' would be an overstatement, but they were all pleasant and eager, and having a stab. Apart from one heated six-minute political debate, each of my 'dates' generally went off quite well.

The men all agreed that the women at the event were attractive and nice — something that seemed to puzzle them a bit. Has someone forgotten to tell these blokes that there are hundreds of confident, good looking, successful and downright fabulous women literally hunting down a decent bloke from Cairns to Cootamundra?

The good news was that there was one hot English guy with whom I had a match, but sadly he was a dud e-mailer. His opening e-mail read, in its entirety, 'Hey'. They didn't get much better. Or longer.
So, while it was fun, I did get quite tipsy (the two free drink cards that Blink offered were down the hatch before round one even started!), it has not led to any actual date. Undeterred, I let myself loose on another speed dating service the following week.

Speed dating: take two
Now that I was no longer a speed dating virgin, I signed up with my next agency Fast Impressions full of confidence and knowing what to expect.

This time I dragged a girlfriend along with me, and with a couple of vinos under my belt (and a bit of sushi — I discovered that eating first was a very good idea) we strutted in as though we owned the place. After all, first impressions are all about making a grand entrance.

Rather than drink cards, Fast Impressions offers non-stop complimentary champagne with table service — hurrah! Besides adding a classy touch, it's a tactic that (apparently) stops the blokes getting too smashed. Lets face it, most blokes only drink champoo if they absolutely have to...

A professional smorgasbord of gents was on offer — with jobs ranging from a prison warden to an emergency room doctor and a stockbroker. Nationalities were buffet-style, as well: Indian, German, American, English and, of course, Aussies. Mmm.

The highlight of the night was one guy who told me for the entire eight minutes how the last time he came he got so hammered by drinking the supplied champagne on an empty stomach that he fell off his chair! A welcome change from the relentless, 'What's your favourite animal?' questions.

The event started at 8pm, so by 10pm when my last date came around the yawns had started, which was a shame because he was the only one I actually fancied. Luckily the bags under my eyes and constant yawning didn't seem to deter him too much
— we got a match the next day. And it looks like we will be catching up soon.

I was very impressed with Fast Impressions
— it was very hip — and I like that you don't sign yourself up for events, rather they invite you to events that are best suited to the type of person you want to meet. It's a great way to pretty much guarantee you'll come away from the night with a damn good chance of getting a date with someone.

By Rose Swarbrick